does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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