Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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