I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
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