Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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