Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
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