dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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