fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize
