i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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