i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
