where does the pee come out of this thing
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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