I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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