okay pat passed out under dana's car
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
