Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
