Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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