Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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