Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
