hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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