i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
