You really coming over, don't trick.
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
