No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
love makes seman taste better
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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