Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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