Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
