My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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