At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
