So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
