Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
