I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
