ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
then he tried to convert me to islam
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
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