I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
