Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I had to cum in my sink.
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