I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize