thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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