its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
