I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Drunk is not a location!
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
