Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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