My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Floor bacon is actually really good
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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