Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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