I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
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As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
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So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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