atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
