Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Will exercising make me less horny?
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
