We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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