I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize
