I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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