Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
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the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
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Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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