I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
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i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
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Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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