Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I'm jealous of your bromance
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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