Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
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