All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
how drunk are you?
Several
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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