On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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