If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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