Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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