you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
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