so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??