Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
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We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
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YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.