We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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