i permit you to call me
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
