Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
