Your tits are I can't wait for
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
