Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I think your dad took our porno
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
