goodnight i made you a song goodbye
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
