I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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