i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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