drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
