May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
