Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
