Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
