proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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