if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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