did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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