I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
